[LinkedIn Expert Series] Shay Rowbottom on Mental Health, Depression and Surviving Narcissism

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Are you ready to know what you don't know about social media? You're in the right place. And this is the step one show on Social Plus on Air. Social Media Radio bring you tips, tricks, tools, free value, broadcasting from our studio of Miami. And now, here's your host, Sebastian Ross.

SPEAKER_04 0:29

What's happening, ladies and gentlemen? Hey, welcome back to the show. Maybe welcome to the show. Is it your first time? Either way, you're in for a real treat with this episode. All of my guests are amazing, and I'm always excited about them. I'm extra excited about this guest. She is absolutely crushing the LinkedIn game. Shea Robotham has been actively pursuing her brand on LinkedIn over the past 24 months and also helping founders and CEOs go from nobody's on LinkedIn to somebody's based on what her strategies are and what she's learned works and does not work. I tracked her down through the internet, but we actually got introduced through mutual friends because this world is so, so very tiny. I really hope you leave this episode with at least one or two things that you did not know about LinkedIn. Friends, please help me welcome to the show. Shea Robottom, what's happening?

SPEAKER_00 1:19

What's going on, Sebastian? Thanks for having me here.

SPEAKER_04 1:21

Hey, this is a lovely way to spend a Friday evening.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

This is a great way to spend a Friday evening.

SPEAKER_04 1:26

I don't know what you're doing with your Friday evening. You may be listening to this on a Wednesday morning, so uh That's true.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:32

Either way, hey, thanks for tuning in. Thanks for making time to come down to the studio. You are officially the first well, first human being in the studio.

SPEAKER_00 1:39

Wow, first human being in the studio.

SPEAKER_04 1:41

This is episode 50 of the Seb Rush show.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

I'm honored. Yes. That is a big, big shoes to fill right here. Well, first person.

SPEAKER_04 1:48

First guest in on on the podcast. Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_00 1:51

That's amazing. All right.

SPEAKER_04 1:53

A lot of milestones here.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Good. I love it. Congrats.

SPEAKER_04 1:56

So you and I met, uh, well, we're we were introduced uh through a mutual friend. Shout out to Dom, the inner peace advisor. The Interpiece.

SPEAKER_00 2:03

Thank you, Dominic. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 2:04

Uh, but I've been following you um for for quite some time. If I if 10 years ago, if you said you were following me, I would call the police, but these days it's pretty common. Yes. So I I would I would venture to say I found you on LinkedIn through your content.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

Probably. Uh that's where most people find me, and that is still by far my biggest channel.

SPEAKER_04 2:23

So yeah, you post these videos and get like 400,000 people watch the thing. It's unbelievable. Not always, but yeah, it breaks LinkedIn every single time. Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

Yeah. It's uh it's been it's been a good uh good thing that I've had going there, and it's like the best platform to grow on because it's all business.

SPEAKER_04 2:43

So all right, so so let's back up because yeah, back up. So you you haven't been doing this a long, long time as far as LinkedIn is concerned. You're almost a LinkedIn newbie because when you joined like last year, didn't you?

SPEAKER_00 2:54

I joined May of 2018. Okay. So coming up on two years this year. Still, yeah, yeah. Less than two years is like I'll have over 200,000 followers in by like the end of the month. And I started less than two years ago. Wow, that's that's mind. Actually, March uh what was the date? Sometime in March of last year, I had just broken 40,000 followers. So I'm on track to hit a million by this time next year with how fast you grow.

SPEAKER_03 3:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

Because it accelerates. That's what people don't realize when you grow a following, like it literally just gets easier. The first thousands the hardest, the first ten thousand is the hardest, the first hundred thousand is the hardest, and then kind of carries you from there.

SPEAKER_04 3:33

So it's great intel right there. So you woke up one day and said, I'm gonna open up a LinkedIn account.

SPEAKER_00 3:39

Uh not exactly. You know, I had a LinkedIn account, I did have one, like everyone has one, right? And no one uses it, or they log on if they need a job. Um, so I actually had one for quite a few years, never used it. I think I had like one lead gen service that I hired to go on my account years ago. Like yeah, I did that too. Yeah, like many years ago. And like actually, I'm glad I did it. It didn't really work out the lead gen service. But what they did was they sent out connections on my behalf. So I actually had a little bit of a base when I started posting content in May of 2018. I had like 4,000 connections because of that lead gen service, but I had never posted on LinkedIn, I knew nothing about it. I ended up meeting Q, you know, Q the hat. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:21

I don't know him, but I know him through the internet.

SPEAKER_00 4:23

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a Milwaukee guy. One of my sales guys that was working for me at the time introduced me to him. He's like, I really think you should talk to this Q guy. He's like crushing on LinkedIn. I had a Facebook agency, so I knew a lot about video marketing, but I was like LinkedIn, like what is no way. And he's like, no, just talk to him. And I was like, okay, fine. So I met Q. He was like, Yeah, you gotta get on LinkedIn. I was like, all right, let's try it. I actually I it wasn't just me who started it, it was like a couple people from my company. They all fizzled away and dropped off. I stayed consistent and um yeah, eventually left that Facebook agency to refocus and help businesses do the same thing on LinkedIn with video content.

SPEAKER_04 4:58

So you had you just yeah, you stuck with LinkedIn regardless of what you did.

SPEAKER_00 5:01

I was very consistent. You know, I had a goal in the beginning, just post three original selfie videos per week. I didn't complicate it. I posted every Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

SPEAKER_04 5:10

And what did you talk about when in the beginning?

SPEAKER_00 5:13

Anything. I I honestly wasn't picky. I I did talk about video marketing and I gave like video advice, you know, uh positioned myself as an expert in like the video marketing space, but um I was super depressed and I was like not in a good place when I got on LinkedIn and LinkedIn kind of saved me because uh I I literally ended up opening up to LinkedIn about my depression, like pretty early on in creating content, and it was like it was like massive the impact it had. Like I I got so many views, I was like, whoa, like it was practically viral for my page at the time. I got leads from it. I was like, Are you kidding? Like this is crazy, you know.

SPEAKER_04 5:46

Um it's amazing what happens when you share your truth.

SPEAKER_00 5:49

Uh yeah, that's what I realized. You know, that's the beautiful thing I always say. Like, I mean, it's not the case for everybody, and God forbid, like I don't wish depression on people. But for me, being so depressed and even suicidal was like a a good thing because what happened was I I realized, like, well, if I'm gonna die anyways, I'm just gonna start telling the truth. And I really stopped caring. I stopped caring what people think, that's how miserable I was. And then, like, lo and behold, it's like, oh, people really want to hear the truth. So I found myself again, like through the platform. I was really able to um be artistic again, you know, be be a performer in a sense, but now merge because I have a background in in music before I got into business and she's gonna sing later. Uh-huh. We'll see, we'll see. Um, but I was able to like merge at this point in time my background in music with everything I had learned about digital marketing to um become a standout on LinkedIn because there was very few people utilizing video, there was very little competition. And I had just spent three years studying viral video on Facebook. Uh, I was very introverted, you know. Um, but I was unhappy, you know, I was just unfulfilled, I was making money, I had a good business, but um just just didn't feel like uh it was my own thing and it wasn't. You know, I had like many partners, I had an invest investors at that point.

SPEAKER_04 7:05

Like that's a lot of pressure.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

Oh, it was it was a no bueno's deal. Usually it turns out like this. Uh what is that?

SPEAKER_04 7:14

Like that. That's usually the outcome of it. Oh, yeah. Kind of like when you hire somebody to message people on LinkedIn. Same outcome. I was trying out the sound, my new sound effects on YouTube. I see, gotcha. I forgot to tell you sound effects, yes.

SPEAKER_00 7:27

I didn't, I can't hear the sound effects, so that's why it just Oh my gosh, it just it just sounded silent to me. That's why I'm like Okay, hashtag. What do you what's going on? New studio failure. You're like, what is that? I figured you knew what you were doing over there. Okay, got it.

SPEAKER_04 7:39

Yeah, so it was like the game show trombone when you look at it.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

Yeah. Yeah. So but it was yeah, I mean, it was um it was a variety of content that I covered in the beginning, and I just saw right away the impact it had on people. I saw the leads it was able to generate, and then I started to build a community. Like I literally found friends through LinkedIn. I found people who cared about me, people who messaged me, like, oh my gosh, you're depressed, I'm depressed. I'm like, what like let's be depressed together. Yeah, well, so many people feel alone. Sure. And that's what I learned. You know, I opened up about like my family's struggles on there, you know, coming from a broken home, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like, I was just like, this is so common. Like, this is literally so common. Like, this is so silly that we all walk around with a mask on when um it just doesn't do the world any good. It's a bunch of fakeness. People are operating from shame. Just getting gonna get right into the deep stuff here.

SPEAKER_04 8:28

Yeah, I really well, you know, your your your your your video today was great too. That how do you how do you turn haters into raving fans? And the the first thing, the first quote that popped in my head was that hurt people hurt people.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

Hurt people hurt people, and that's another thing I don't agree with about the whole like justice system. I get it, they're dangerous, they're psychopaths, get them off the street. Um, but we don't really rehabilitate anyone. Right. And the reality is demonizing people uh doesn't get us anywhere. You know, we need to figure out the source. Like, why are these people prone to to to hurt, to seek out people to destroy and um to commit crimes, to, to abuse themselves even. Why is everyone abusing themselves so much? Why do we have addiction, obesity, all these problems? Um, I think there's a lot of like blame, shame, and pointing the finger going on when the reality is is I I don't believe that. You know, I believe every narcissist, every psychopath, every person that we label disgusting and throw them in a cage, they went through they went, can I swear on here?

SPEAKER_04 9:28

You can do whatever you want.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

They went through some fucked up shit to get to get that way. Right. That's what I believe. Like so, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:35

Well, I think we've all had a unique journey somewhere along the line, and we've either come to terms with with what happened and just taken full ownership of it. Yes. Um full accountability and ownership of your life and and been able to move on and do something with it. You've obviously done done done something of that nature.

SPEAKER_00 9:50

Um But not everyone makes it out. That's what I learned. Like, you know, I haven't fully opened up about my story and all, but like it's rare to be me.

SPEAKER_04 9:58

A hundred percent. And I think the the only I don't think that there is a uh it's not a cure that we're looking for for mental health because it's not I don't I don't believe that it's it's it's a disease. I I think it's more of a condition that we all experience at some point in time. We've all been down, depressed. Uh life has shown up in some form or fashion in a significant way that's been traumatic and and into into to even think of reliving it is is unimaginable. Um but being able to have these conversations and the transparency. I always say I meet with a group of guys um uh from church. I I probably should go every time they meet, but I I don't go as frequently as I can. Sure. And I go to these things because I had a friend tell me, so Sebastian, what is everyone else missing out on by you not being there? And I'm the transparent guy.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

I love that. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:46

And I was like a lot. But more importantly, I I have zero filter, like no filter, especially in a safe space with a group of guys having a conversation about life. And I found that that extracts other people to open up and say, well, things aren't really that good in this area, too. And that's where real change and real community takes place, is when we're willing to take off our masks and say, hey, here's who I am and here's what the fuck is really going on.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

Yep, it's why I've grown a following. I mean, among my digital marketing acumen, that certainly helped, you know, knowing how to create videos for the newsfeed. But like, I truly believe it's why I grew up following because people are just like, oh wow, this chick is saying all the things that I think and feel, but I'm terrified to ever go out and say, uh, because it's controversial and a lot of it's polarizing. I don't mean to be polarizing, it's just the the nature of a lot of the content. And people don't want to be the one that's disliked. A lot of people are operating from a place of how can I get everyone to like me and just not rock the boat? I'm not like that because, like I said, I hit rock bottom, I was suicidal, I didn't care anymore. I was like, ah, I don't, I'm just gonna start telling the truth. I'm just gonna, you know, this is my final hurrah. Let's do it. And then um what changed? Um a lot of things, you know. I I mean it's it was like a progression to get out of the depression. I'm not gonna say like, oh, it just happened overnight. We're like, oh, I'm not depressed anymore. It was like years in the making, but I will say it was LinkedIn, like straight up. I like LinkedIn saved my life. I started to grow on that platform. Um, and I realized that I had I was capable, you know, I realized I wasn't helpless. I had a real, real um, and this is something, you know, people will learn more about me as I open up and I'm creating my own podcast as well. But I had like a crippling case of learned helplessness, Sebastian. Like crippling. You wouldn't know it from the outside because I was like this fake, powerful woman. I was like, you know, running a company and I had lots of employees, but I was totally codependent and I was like in business with all these guys who didn't value me. And um I just allowed it, you know, I allowed it. I manifested that for myself because I didn't believe I was capable of doing anything on my own, which I learned later came from my childhood and a lot of things I was repressing, which created this deep sense of powerlessness and learned helplessness. Where when I finally was able to uh recall and break through that, it was like, ah, and then I could actually get to dismantling it. So it was a number of things, starting to work on myself, going to therapy, dealing with my childhood wounds I'd been avoiding my whole life, but also LinkedIn and just like showing up there and being authentic and the community it built, and all the people who were like, you're not alone, Shay. And actually, we love you and like think like you're you're our savior for boasting about this. I'm like, I am like, and people call me brave. I'm like, I don't feel brave at all. I feel like I was like, it was pathetic. I feel like it was pathetic. I feel like I was at rock bottom, I didn't care, it was a cry for help. People are like, oh no, you're brave. I'm like, that's cool that people think I'm brave. I never saw it like that, but it but it is true.

SPEAKER_04 13:45

Yeah, but Shay, you gotta understand the other the other side of the pendulum is nothing gets talked about, nothing happens, and you die.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

Exactly. A lot of people, I love this. Um, they say, uh, what's the quote? Most people are pretending and then they die. Most people are pretending and then they die. It's so true. I live my life every day, like we're all gonna be in the ground. He, she, everyone whose opinion I'm worrying about right now, we're all gonna be dead in a hundred years. So who cares? You know, once you can really put things in perspective and understand, like your time here is limited. And when you're on your deathbed, you're not gonna care that you were the most liked or the most popular. Oh, I'm so glad I didn't speak my mind, so I didn't rock the boat at that event. It's like, who cares? I don't care about people hating me. I care about leaving this place a more evolved planet. And so many people are not doing that right now because they're just operating from fear, from shame, and um yeah, they just want to be like, so self-consumed in that too.

SPEAKER_04 14:40

And that that creates a world of narcissism that's a whole nother topic on here. But I narcissism. I think of um my my my buddy Gary Bishop, who was my instructor at the landmark forum, oddly enough, like five years ago.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

I hear landmark is great.

SPEAKER_04 14:53

Landmark's fantastic, but he continued to repeat over and over again, you know, we've got we've got one shot at this whole life thing. And then we die, and they put you in a box, they kick some dirt on on top of it, and everyone forgets about you in a week.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

Oh man, in a week. Oh gosh, my narcissism won't let that have its fashion. Um, but what about like, do you believe in uh multiple lives? Like, you know, I get the whole like one life to live, do it big, but like, do you believe in reincarnation that like we actually come back again and again?

SPEAKER_04 15:22

I do not.

SPEAKER_00 15:23

No? What religion are you?

SPEAKER_04 15:25

I'm a uh I'm I don't believe in religion. I have a I'm a devout Christian and I believe in relationships. So I believe But you said you go to church. I do.

SPEAKER_00 15:31

So is that a cruel?

SPEAKER_04 15:32

That's not religion. No, that's that's community.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

That's oh well, relationship.

SPEAKER_04 15:35

Religion religion says no, relationship says yes, gotcha, community exists.

SPEAKER_00 15:41

Gotcha, but just one life and then that's it.

SPEAKER_04 15:43

Uh no, eternal life in heaven with Jesus.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

Gotcha. Yeah, one of those. Okay, all right.

SPEAKER_04 15:48

Like since I've been knee high to a Girl Scout. I've seen too much not to be.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

That's Did you grow up religious?

SPEAKER_04 15:53

I grew up in a Southern Baptist church, which is very comparable. Yeah, good lord. Yeah, very comparable to a cult.

SPEAKER_00 15:59

Yeah, no doubt.

SPEAKER_04 15:59

So it was, you know, don't drink, don't chew, don't hang with those that do. And it was also, you know, don't do this and don't do that, and brimstone and fire, and you're going to hell. Yeah. So when I was 18, I walked away from it all. I'm like, who wants all this? I don't need all this.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

And then I how much hypocrisy was in the Southern Baptist community you grew up in, would you say?

SPEAKER_04 16:14

I I would say 90%.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

And now 90%.

SPEAKER_04 16:17

90%.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

And now you're in a more like mild, like community-based.

SPEAKER_04 16:20

Well, I moved to Southern California where the revolution of going to church religion is like illegal there. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. You go to like you can like the whole revolution that started in the 70s of being able to go to church in Birkenstocks and Tide Church and the whole hypocrite church movement was evolved out there. So when I went to church and it was like relevant message and like cool music and like everything was like new and like modern, I thought, wow, this is different. Right. And is that and that continued to to to modernize, and now people they meet in unconventional spaces. Like my church meets in a school in Winwood.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

Oh, that's cute. And it's I love Winwood.

SPEAKER_04 16:51

It's it's it's it's it's a very different pe it's very different environment. People are like, this is this is in theaters and different types of environments. I just think that people crave community, and the modern church provides the opportunity to be able to do that. Um, their their tagline is like, you don't need to believe to belong, just keep coming back.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And and also that you don't need to judge people that aren't Christian.

SPEAKER_04 17:12

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

Because that's a big thing that I dislike about Christianity, is like they literally teach kids from the time they're babies, like, oh, if you don't believe, you go to hell. I mean, like, I've I've literally had multiple people in my life say to me, Yeah, I don't know about this whole religion thing or if the Bible's real Shay, but I would just rather believe in case, because I don't want to go to hell. So like better safe than sorry. I'm like, doesn't that sound like like really strategic brainwashing? Like that's just my opinion. But but but the thing is it creates more followers and then but which which, okay, whatever you believe just to believe in in case, cool. But what I really see is people judging other people who don't believe because of that specific belief about the hell thing. And this is uh I want to hear your opinion on this because this is something I've had a lot of experience with with people who um converted away from Christianity. They said the hardest thing for them was fearing hell and feeling feeling like they were gonna go to hell and like their uncle would die, their uncle was an atheist, and their whole family would be like, oh, he's going to hell now. And then it's like this big, like it's like a judgment thing on that person. So, what are your thoughts on that? And how do you kind of simultaneously keep these beliefs about like, oh, like if you don't believe in Jesus the Savior, you burn in hell, but then not judge people who don't believe, you know? Like, where's that balance?

SPEAKER_04 18:27

I think it's not my I I think that other people's journeys is none of my business. Yeah. What you believe and how you believe, and where you think you're going or not going or what actually happens. That's a conversation between you and God, not anybody else. It's a very, very personal relationship. I'm called to love you. That's it.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

That's great. Yeah, I think that's how it should be.

SPEAKER_04 18:48

And and and and anything above and beyond that, judging just that that that that completely uh uh what's the word I'm looking for? Um, when you're you're it contradicts the entire the entire practice, isn't that crazy? But it's so common for me listen, it's it's very simple, it's it's it's in plain print in the Bible for 2,000 years. Yeah, love your neighbor. Like that's what we're just called to be able to do. And if we if you look at the life of, and I think that regardless of what people believe, and I'm not a listen, my famous tagline is that I love Jesus, but I cuss a lot, right? So I'm a recovered, I'm a recovered Southern Baptist that doesn't believe in religion. Recovered Southern Baptist that doesn't believe I believe in relationship and I believe that I am a vehicle uh to the foot of the cross. Where I foot of the cross mean that's an analogy of saying of saying when people want to have a conversation about my faith, we can have a conversation, but it doesn't ask Well, a lot of people say they're a Christian, but it's like, what are you doing? Like they don't do anything, it's just kind of like, oh, I'm a Christian, you know It's a good quote It's a good quote that's been around forever that is you know, preach the gospel at all times, use words when necessary. And uh yeah, yeah. So if you look at the life of Jesus, I think that regardless of what anybody believes, the guy lived, he walked the earth, he was a human being, right? But he was here for a short time, but when he was here, what did he do? Turn water into wine. Yeah, well, that and you know, acts of service.

SPEAKER_00 20:05

Yes, and and showed he hung out with hookers, right? He did not judge, tax collectors, right?

SPEAKER_04 20:10

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

So I don't know, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:11

I when I look at a guy like that, I'm like, that's kind of a guy you want to role model. That that that's what I look after.

SPEAKER_00 20:15

So um he had some feminine energy, some nice femininity. For sure. The long hair didn't have that toxic masculinity going on where he was all buff. He was like, no, yeah, he could have been buff.

SPEAKER_04 20:26

He was a carpenter. So anything's fossil. I don't know. So we could talk about uh no, we we could talk, I don't know how in the world we got on the church.

SPEAKER_00 20:34

I don't know either because you started telling me about your church. I'm like, cold stuff fascinates me too because my uh well, narcissism. That's like yeah, let's talk about that. Yeah, we're gonna be able to do that. We're gonna go from church to narcissism. Yeah, well, they're they're related. You call it out.

SPEAKER_04 20:45

You call yourself a uh a uh what is it? What what is the title pertaining to narcissism was like recovered like uh narcissists like a trip?

SPEAKER_00 20:53

I don't know. I don't know if I say anything about myself. I've definitely been narcissistic in my life.

SPEAKER_04 20:59

No, but there's like something like like of being a victim of a narcissist.

SPEAKER_00 21:02

There's some sort of um just just uh survivor of narcissism. There we go. Yeah, there we go. Right. My parents are my parents are narcissists like through and through. Very, very the worst type, you know, the covert, white, charming, successful. Like a lot of narcissists have success. They have money, and they even are in a position where they help a lot of people, which they do strategically, so that you know, uh like 20% of the time when they're kind of overtly abusive and people are kind of looking twice, like, did they really just do that? They justify it by like, oh, but they help so many people, oh, but they're the head of the church and they donate. So it's so people think that like these people are only abusive like uh a fraction of the time, and that's why they stick around them, not realizing the other 80% is actually where the real abuse occurs because that's where the manipulation happens, where they set themselves up to be this hero, to be this really giving person. I mean, I trust me, I never wanted I never thought I'd be like this narcissism. I I've read a A lot of books. I've I've I've studied narcissism, but it just kind of fell into my lap because I started figuring out what was wrong with my childhood, like my parents, like the alcoholism, like all the dots started connecting. And then the men in my life, uh, not just romantic relationships, but business relationships. It was like I was surrounded by narcissists. I could, like, it was like I was just almost like all you knew. Exactly. So like I didn't like mean, I didn't like just go off on a limb like, oh, I'm curious about narcissism. It like literally fell in my lap. I had to learn about it because it was all I was attracting. And then I also very narcissistic. I don't know how anyone couldn't be coming out of my home, honestly. Uh, because it's how you learn to survive. You know, it's like a generational thing. Like your parents are narcissists, and you learn, like, oh, like love is manipulation. It's like a whole like, you know, uh rabbit hole we could go down. So really, I actually identify identify way more with what people call like an empath, you know, like an empath. They say like that, that's like a common like narcissist empath relationship where um a lot of people get into romantic relationships with narcissists because they themselves are very empathic and narcissists seek out empaths to to destroy. Essentially, they're like um really easy to manipulate because they're gonna always see the good in them, justify like, oh, well, he's not really that bad. That 80-20 breakdown that I that I just said before. Right. So um I definitely identify with being an empath, but very narcissistic tendencies. I mean, I could lie, I could manipulate, I could be really cold. Um, so a lot of it also came from uh facing myself and realizing, like, dude, what's wrong with me? Like, why am I able to be this way? And where's this coming from? So um I do identify more with an empath, but with narcissistic tendencies. And then essentially I went out and I started to research narcissism, realizing, oh wow, like all the resources out there, again, going back to what we just talked about with the punishment, it's like they're all like against narcissists, which don't get me wrong, like they suck and you should protect yourselves from narcissists and you should get out and escape. And if you have to demon be demonize them for a while to like heal, I totally get that. That's part of the process. But um, I believe narcissists are are victims, you know, they're they're hurt, that's why they end up that way. I I don't believe my parents um had much of a chance coming out of the the upbringings that they came out of. And it's just a generational curse, it goes on and on and on. Yeah, it is. Um, so for me, uh, well, and my siblings, because you know, none of us have kids, and I don't think that's I think that's for a very good reason, whether what we're consciously aware of it or not. I I do believe it comes from wanting to be the end of the legacy, like fuck this, you know.

SPEAKER_03 24:31

The book stops here, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

Yeah, you just realize, but um, it really comes from the world, and we talked about this earlier, the world being so fake. Like we all operate from this place of fakeness, of trying to fit in, of shame, of fear. That's narcissism. You know, people don't see it because it's not like cancer where it's overt, like, oh, cancer is clearly an epidemic, people are dying. Narcissism is killing us just as much. And it's it's the core reason that there is so much uh uh low self-esteem, insecurity, and all those things. But um, really, you know, the the codependent and the narcissist, like the relationship, they're they're both codependent. You know, they're both addicted and trying to feed off this other person to meet their needs. The narcissist coming more from a place of control and getting off to controlling this other person and needing their energy and sucking off their energy. Whereas the empath or the codependent is more so feeling safe, even though they're with an abuser. Like they do, they find some comfort in it because their dad was also an abuser. It's like it's familiar to them. So they don't find any value in just being alone by themselves. They think that they need this partner to build them up. Um, and that's also part of the narcissist game. They'll manipulate you over time to feel that you need them, you're dependent on them. That's what happened in my relationships in my life. That's what happened with my own mother. Um, it's it's a really powerful disease and it goes very unnoticed, especially in white people with money, which let's face it, are practically running the country. So it's it's very unspoken, and that's part of what I want to bring awareness to.

SPEAKER_04 26:00

I mean, it all ties into the mental health conversation.

SPEAKER_00 26:03

Yeah, mental health. You say what did you say? I love what you said before about like it's not a disease, it's or something.

SPEAKER_04 26:08

Yeah, I think it's more of a condition we've all experienced.

SPEAKER_00 26:10

I feel like it's just normal. Like we should stop calling it a disease.

SPEAKER_04 26:12

Well, normal is a setting on your dryer.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

Sure. I mean, it is it's it's unfortunately the state that most of us are living in. You know what I mean? So it's it's not um uh it's not so much that it's a disease, it's everywhere. It's just the state of the world. We have you ever Dominic showed me this. There's like a um, I forget what it's called, it's where you have like the levels of um, the levels of uh what's the word, like emotions and consciousness. It starts all the way at the bottom is shame, and then it goes all the way up to enlightenment, with like, you know, anger being more toward the middle, and then you get courage, then you get willingness, blah, blah, blah. It's like all the steps you go through to reach enlightenment and shame being the lowest. So shame is literally the lowest vibration that a human can be at. And it's very hard to come out of that. Like, it's why people commit suicide, it's why, like, shame is the lowest vibration. That's where I was for years, right? And I look around and I'm like, that's where everyone is. Like, we're literally, that's why we're so easy to control. That's why we don't like stand up for ourselves anymore with like the food system, the government. We're just like, oh, let's poison ourselves. Like, there's no self-respect because we're all operating from the lowest human vibration, which is shame.

unknown 27:26

Ah.

SPEAKER_00 27:26

A lot of us, anyways. A good, I believe that's a good idea. Everyone, that's a blanket. I believe the majority of people are operating from that. And you could very much argue that shame is narcissism. Narcissism is a product of being you were you were so shamed as a little child that you split from yourself and you created a false self that has no empathy to survive. So, like facing your true self would be too painful because you were abused and shamed, and children don't have the uh emotional capacity to deal with that. So it is shame. I I believe shame is where narcissism comes from.

SPEAKER_04 27:58

I believe I became I I became an I became a narcissism narcissist before gratitude training because like my I just said this to my mom asked.

SPEAKER_00 28:05

A narcissist, like you have to be careful though, because like a narcissist and like fuck the labels. I mean, it it it is helpful in explaining. I don't really like labels.

SPEAKER_03 28:14

There we go.

SPEAKER_00 28:15

But you were probably more narcissistic rather than like self-centered, maybe a full-blown narcissist. It's it anyone can heal, but like when you're a full-blown narcissist, it's very hard to come back from. I think a lot of people more so have narcissistic tendencies. Yeah, where they kind of go in and out.

SPEAKER_04 28:29

That's not me.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

Yeah. Uh but you so what happened?

SPEAKER_04 28:33

Well, my dad, my dad is a total narcissist, and I um I severed a relationship with him last year because he wanted to go. So he he he his wife has been always a very, you know, a treat. Uh, yeah. Uh she's the need attention.

SPEAKER_00 28:50

Um, oh my god, you have no idea.

SPEAKER_04 28:55

Next level. Okay. Next level. Anyway.

SPEAKER_00 28:57

Another episode.

SPEAKER_04 28:57

So he wanted to go to my daughter's uh graduation. And I'm like, well, my daughter gets to graduate one time, and I'm not gonna have your wife fuck it up, right? And uh and um, you know, he uh he's like, I don't know what you're talking. And I said, Listen, it's a 30-year track record of ruining shit, and I'm not willing at this at 40 years old, I'm at risk adverse. Wow, not willing to roll the dice. Yeah, so the answer is no, you're not invited to graduation. And he went crazy in the church parking lot and hangs up on me and then deletes me and blocks me on Facebook.

SPEAKER_00 29:26

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 29:26

Now we've always had a broken relationship because he'd never gotten over my mom divorcing him 30 years ago. Oh, yeah. So he'll still talk, he'll still talk about it to this day. I just want to let you know it's so related to it. It wasn't me that walked out, it was your mother.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

And I'm not saying it's easy, but I truly believe a lot of people, if they just took that leap and said, you know what, mom and dad, siblings even, whoever, I'm out. I'm not gonna try anymore just because we're family.

SPEAKER_04 29:50

Like what a way to live, though. I I look at like my accomplishments of my father, and I'm like, so what, so what said it, your eulogy? Like, what is really said? Yeah, that you were a narcissist and you married wrong. Right.

SPEAKER_00 30:02

You like do you like rap? Do you like NF? He's a Christian rapper.

SPEAKER_04 30:05

No, I haven't heard of him.

SPEAKER_00 30:06

NF, yeah. He said he has a line that says, um, you spend your whole life worried about what's in your wallet for what that money won't show up in your coffin.

SPEAKER_04 30:14

Oh, yeah, that's right. You never see, yeah, nobody's ever you never see a uh a hearse pulling a U-Haul.

SPEAKER_00 30:19

Right. Ever. Well, don't get me wrong. Like I want my grandkids' grandkids to be rich, rich as fuck. But so there there is some truth in that, that like you don't you don't die with no money per se because you can leave it and you can leave the world a better planet with a lot of money. The issue is getting a lot of money and building empires on top of insecurity and uh rage, even and and the arriving at that place like, okay, I have all this stature, I have all this wealth, but then realizing you're still unfulfilled because you did it from uh not from your heart. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:51

Yeah, and well, not being aligned with your life. I again I I heard a quote a long time ago and it rocked my world. It said that my my my biggest fear is it was uh a book called Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire, and it's a story of the Brooklyn Tabernacle, which started back in the 70s in humble beginnings with the husband and a wife, and the stories that took place are unbelievable. But now the place is world-renowned. It's in Brooklyn, it's still a church, they have a huge choir, it's a it's a special place, anyway. Um but there was a uh there was a line in one of the first chapters that said um when they were first starting the church and having all these challenges and almost getting kicked out and heroin addicts and prostitutes showing up in like crazy times, um, not knowing what was going on. But he said, I did I was just continued a thought just continued to come up day after day, and that was that my biggest fear was that uh my my life would end and God would not show up mightily on my behalf. And I thought, whoa, and that totally rocked my world and completely shifted the conversation that I was having with myself. On you know, Simon Senec says, People don't care what you do, they care why you do it. That that that I was able to nail it then because I was no longer selling something or trying to figure out the next thing. It was how can I create something that, yes, I've got a daughter of where I could leave a legacy and I could leave this place better than I found it. But more importantly, what can I do to contribute to make people's life better? I don't know what it is. Is it my energy? Is it a conversation? It's the it's the ability to build relationships with people, uh, it's the ability to do great things. But that all led me to figuring out this whole podcast journey. And now this year we're gonna help a hundred people start a podcast. Well, 98 now.

SPEAKER_00 32:28

Yeah, it has a ripple effect. You know, you you help a hundred people, then each one of those hundred people helps a hundred people, and they help a hundred people.

SPEAKER_04 32:35

And uh so instead of just going, you know, going through the motions and just you know, we got one shot at this thing, you know? They say it right here on my Gary V. Oh, fours one life.

SPEAKER_00 32:44

Those are sick, dude. I love it. Mine are mine are a little uh a little lame compared to yours. Shout out to Cardi's even. Shout out to my boy Gary V.

SPEAKER_04 32:53

He he did social media influencer extraordinaire brought back a shoe brand, bro. K Swiss, bringing it way back.

SPEAKER_00 33:00

Yeah, I like K Swiss. K Swiss. I never had issues with them, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:03

No, I didn't either. I had no beef with K Swiss, but he's Skechers.

SPEAKER_00 33:06

They wanted to just bring back the Skechers.

SPEAKER_04 33:07

They wanted to launch an entire um an entire entrepreneur brand. So that's how Gary got in the whole mix and was like, listen, we're gonna bring you back and make you guys cool.

SPEAKER_00 33:15

Yeah, hell yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_04 33:16

Uh speaking of cool, um Yeah, let's talk. Yeah, this uh stuff, this uh I got something really cool in the mail the other day. I guess we could say this episode is brought to you in part by my friends at Poddex. So you're starting a podcast and you're like, hey, I am, yes. What do I talk about?

SPEAKER_00 33:31

Or oh, I got plenty to talk about, Sebastian.

SPEAKER_04 33:34

This one's not no challenge. I don't have any challenge, but sometimes people do. So this guy invented pod decks. This is a deck of cards.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

That's dope. It is I love that.

SPEAKER_04 33:42

The inter the interview deck contains 50 unique conversation starting questions to help you take your podcast interviews to the next level and keep your audience entertained. So that's that's the interview deck, and then we've got the episode deck. So, what what's the next episode gonna be? Well, here's 50 brand new ideas, and then second edition pod decks, even more questions that you can ask your guests. So you got right here, you got all of your structure for your entire show. As Brian Fanzo would say, just press the damn button. So shout out to Poddex for sending these to me. I promised you guys a nice unboxing. Not a better way to do that than episode. Can I see it? Do you mind? I want to check it out, dude.

SPEAKER_00 34:19

I want to improve my language. Yeah, let's question it. Let's actually, yeah, let's actually. Should we bust one open? Should we just start? Yeah, let's play this one the interview. All right. You do the second edition, I'll do the first. Me neither. Oh, right. Look at us. We're just a couple of dudes. Don't mind us.

SPEAKER_04 34:36

We can get a deck of cards open.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

Yeah, uh, we can do it. How many, how many uh LinkedInners does it take to open a hot deck?

SPEAKER_04 34:44

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00 34:46

Get a pen.

SPEAKER_04 34:46

Teeth work. Yeah, that's teeth work. I don't know who touched these before.

SPEAKER_00 34:49

I I have Invisalign in. Oh. So I can't do it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:53

Straining my teeth, I'm trying to get I'm doing, I'm doing, I'm doing that this year too. Yeah, I've got to get this, I've got to get this whole program.

SPEAKER_00 34:59

Guys kind of look hot with crooked teeth, though. I can't even lie. Really? Yeah. I think guy, like I'm totally sexist about this, I'll admit. But it's like for me, when a guy has like perfectly perfect straight teeth, it's actually kind of like like I don't know. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I think guys can pull off the crooked teeth look a little more, it's like a little more character. Whereas women, it's a little more like I I like my women with with straight teeth, I won't lie. Yours, like yours are fine.

SPEAKER_04 35:23

Like, I wouldn't, I wouldn't say my self-esteem just went through the roof.

SPEAKER_00 35:26

It just depends.

SPEAKER_04 35:27

I'm inviting her back whenever she wants.

SPEAKER_00 35:29

It just depends. I'm not saying like, especially guys with like really big teeth. Like if they're like really big and then they get up like perfectly oh, yeah, I guess he's just big in general. He's got he's got everything big to match. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:42

But uh he's definitely the biggest human being that I've ever seen in my entire life. Did you see him in person? Yeah. Oh, you did? I didn't twice.

SPEAKER_00 35:47

I went twice with my you are like all after these personal development programs. I love it. I respect it so much.

SPEAKER_04 35:54

I took my daughter when she was 12. We walked on fire with Usher and Pitbull.

SPEAKER_00 35:58

Oh, dude, that's lit. Yeah. I'm a I'm a big Tony fan. I am.

SPEAKER_04 36:01

He's fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 36:02

Yeah. I you know who I I mess with the most lately, though, is uh do you know Kerwin Ray?

SPEAKER_04 36:06

No.

SPEAKER_00 36:07

Kerwin Ray? So underrated. He's like the he's like the Gary V of Australia, but deeper. Oh, really?

SPEAKER_03 36:13

Yeah, there's a Gary Vee of Australia.

SPEAKER_00 36:14

Yeah, he's the best. What are we doing? Yeah, we gotta do a whole quick stories program for it.

SPEAKER_04 36:20

For the what's it called here?

SPEAKER_00 36:21

For the what's it called.

SPEAKER_04 36:22

We're doing it for the gram. Do it for the gram. Oh, did you open mine? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:27

Did you uh thank you? Thank you, Sebastian. All right.

SPEAKER_04 36:29

We just uh opened up a pack of hot decks.

SPEAKER_00 36:31

Oh, I got a good one. I love it.

SPEAKER_04 36:33

What is it?

SPEAKER_00 36:33

Okay, if you had a personal mascot, what would it be?

SPEAKER_04 36:37

Is that a mascot?

SPEAKER_00 36:38

Uh yeah. Mascot. Does it have to be like a a living thing?

SPEAKER_04 36:44

Um can I do the sun?

SPEAKER_00 36:45

Is that lame? Because that's my brand logo thing. Yeah. All right, let's do it a different one. What's uh or your your turn now. You you you go.

SPEAKER_04 36:52

What do you val value most in your friends?

SPEAKER_00 36:56

Honesty. Friends to call me out of my bullshit. I don't need more people to make me feel good. I need people who are gonna be honest. Yeah, friends, friends who are honest with me. I have a I have a good friend, uh, and she triggers the fuck out of me. Literally, I'm like, you trigger me so much. She's like, why? I'm like, because you tell me the truth. You call me out on my bullshit. I love it. So those are the best friends to have.

SPEAKER_04 37:17

I agree with that. Yeah. Your turn.

SPEAKER_00 37:18

All right, my turn. All right, let's see. Your question was cooler than mine. Why was why was yours cooler? What is the dumbest way you've been injured? I know mine.

SPEAKER_04 37:28

Roller skating. Roller skating at a community college. I broke my ankle.

SPEAKER_00 37:32

Oh, that shit is dangerous. That is really that is rough. Alright, you go.

SPEAKER_04 37:38

Alright, let's see here. I kind of want to shuffle them.

SPEAKER_00 37:41

Why? I don't know. It's a deck of cards. It's brand new. Nobody's you only shuffle because it's Oh, he rejected that one.

SPEAKER_04 37:49

All these hero questions. Which living person do you most admire? I'd say Tony.

SPEAKER_00 37:56

Yeah, Tony Robbins is up there for sure. Um I don't know. I'd have to think about that. I have to think about that.

SPEAKER_04 38:03

Oh, nobody on top of mine, huh?

SPEAKER_00 38:05

Give me another one, yeah, right. Well, it's like it's it's not it's not because there's no one, it's because there's so many. Like picking one is hard. Give me another one. Hit me with an easier question.

SPEAKER_04 38:13

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

SPEAKER_00 38:16

What's a virtue again?

SPEAKER_04 38:17

Yeah, that's a great question.

SPEAKER_00 38:18

Virtue is like a it's like a a value. Yeah. Overrated virtue. Religion.

SPEAKER_04 38:23

Oh, hey, back to the religion one. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

SPEAKER_00 38:29

Uh, probably like and dude. I'm a little bit lame like that. Like, dude. I'm a true millennial. I'm working on it.

SPEAKER_04 38:37

All right. One more. Oh, yeah, my turn.

SPEAKER_00 38:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 38:40

Your turn.

SPEAKER_00 38:40

Um serious question. It's not a serious question. All right. What's something I would never guess about you?

SPEAKER_04 38:49

I play the piano.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

Oh, beautiful. You've been playing since a kid or on a new development.

SPEAKER_04 38:55

I couldn't join a band, but I can carry, I could like if there's a piano right there.

SPEAKER_00 38:59

Can we do some singing? I'll be Alicia Keys, you be the keys. I can't play. Yeah, let's take this. I'll sing though. I'll do the let's take this show on the road. This girl is on fire. She just she just fire. This girl is on fire.

SPEAKER_04 39:14

You should start singing in your videos.

SPEAKER_00 39:16

Yeah, I will eventually. It's a 20 2021 goal. I don't really have time this year. My year's already planned. Wow. I'll get back into music next year.

SPEAKER_03 39:24

February.

SPEAKER_00 39:25

Dude, I can't get away. I'm too famous. Like, honestly, I need to cut the fame.

SPEAKER_04 39:31

We were shooting guns with the Cardones the other day.

SPEAKER_00 39:33

That was so fun. I love guns now.

SPEAKER_04 39:35

How did you connect with that crew?

SPEAKER_00 39:37

Uh Jeremy Slate. Do you know Jeremy?

SPEAKER_02 39:41

Yes, I do.

SPEAKER_00 39:41

He's a podcaster. Yeah. Yeah. Jeremy Slate and his wife Brielle. They have a company called Command Your Brand Media, where they help, well, uh maybe I'm confusing. They they do a couple things. They help you with their podcasts, but they help people get on podcasts and shows. And I hired Jeremy a while back, and he got me on um Elena's show in Miami, W Women in Power. So that's how we met, and then we hit it off right away. I was like, let me help you with your LinkedIn. And then yeah, no, now we're homies. So I'm speaking at her her event, 10X Ladies this month. Nice. Yeah, thank you. They um uh And I like guns now. I really did, I really did enjoy the guns. I was surprised.

SPEAKER_04 40:19

I'm scared of them.

SPEAKER_00 40:20

I'm scared, I was scared of them too. I was terrified, and then I like learned all the rules and all the respect. I'm like, okay, I can do this. I can not shoot my my own foot off. I'll I think I'll be good. I still like I'm a total noob. I need I I gotta learn. I gotta learn a lot.

SPEAKER_04 40:33

But and then you pitched Grant on on on camera too.

SPEAKER_00 40:36

I did, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:37

Did he bite?

SPEAKER_00 40:38

Oh yeah. Well, I'm still working on it, but it it it's getting there, no doubt. That was funny. That was uh I I think uh I had to go take a nap after that interview.

SPEAKER_04 40:48

That was I haven't had any interaction with them. I haven't, I I I at all. I I watched from afar, but I haven't actually met, I haven't been in any events or anything like that. But uh I like his jet.

SPEAKER_00 40:57

Yeah, yeah, definitely inspiring people. He has a lot of great content, so does she. Like, I resonate with a lot of it, you know. I love what he says about millionaires being broke people, very controversial, especially per our conversation about like money in the ground and all that whole thing. But uh yeah, he has like a very different take. Me and Dominic were just talking about it today. There's uh a clip where that he asks this guy how much money do you have in your bank account? And he says 60,000, and Grant goes, You're broke, you're broke, you know what I mean? Like, how many Americans would love 60,000? Like that's like but um I I get it. I I agree, you know, and and the other thing is I especially see this with the people my age who get success. Um, because if you've been working your whole life for and you finally start making some money, you're more likely to be responsible with it. But a lot of people, especially these young millennials, you know, digital marketing entrepreneurs, they get a little money and they get a little wealth. Actually, they get relatively rich and they just make really poor investments. They go, you know, buy a Lamborghini, do all these.

SPEAKER_04 41:53

It's like I did that in my 20s.

SPEAKER_00 41:55

Exactly. Like you really have to be so pragmatic. Just pay yourself nothing for as long as you can, like, pay yourself nothing. You know, live, live, spend your money on experiences, not things. Like, I would much rather put all that money back into my business so that, you know, by the time I'm 40, I can live a much more like, okay, now getting a a Lamborghini is like nothing, you know.

SPEAKER_04 42:17

Whereas Would you drive a Lamborghini?

SPEAKER_00 42:19

I I can't drive shit, man. I suck at driving. I'm gonna I'm gonna hire a driver real soon here.

SPEAKER_04 42:24

That's yeah, that's you do hire a lot of that stuff. You do you hire a lot of taxes?

SPEAKER_00 42:27

I outsource everything. Yeah, I literally do. It's the best. It's the best. I have a really um yeah, I I've I've created a nice little life myself. I have a personal chef, I have uh cleaners.

SPEAKER_04 42:40

I don't cook, but they do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:42

People do my laundry, yeah. Um, just anything that I like think to myself, like, is this worth my time? No. Pay for pay for someone else to do. I'm not afraid to spend money. That's my thing. And that's another thing people don't get. They're like, oh, it's like spend money. Like, I'm not scared. Oh, this contradicts what I just said. Not on Ferraris and Lamborghinis and stuff. I'm not afraid to spend money on services. You know, what's your fee? You know, I I charge $5,000 a month for consulting. Do it, you know. Just put it's what Grant says. Your money in the bank doesn't do anything. I'm not afraid to spend money. I put it out there, I put it out there, I put it out there. And it is nerve-wracking at first, but it comes back tenfold. So uh yeah, I would say just like get comfortable with spending money and outsourcing, not on not on vain stuff that's not gonna bring you a return. Like not like hookers and blow. Don't do right, not on a um depreciating asset, as they say.

SPEAKER_04 43:28

Like hookers and blow.

SPEAKER_00 43:29

Oh, yeah. Well, well, that's a little different because those are experiences. Maybe maybe not the best ones.

SPEAKER_04 43:34

But I don't know what lens.

SPEAKER_00 43:36

Don't do the hookers and the blow. Right.

SPEAKER_04 43:38

How about the zoo? Um the zoo. So I I support the caged animals. I want to talk about one more topic that you talked about on a video because it's stuck in my mind and it allowed me it I believe that true valuable content it pole vaults people into action.

SPEAKER_00 43:51

Oh, my narcissism is tingling. Which one is it?

SPEAKER_04 43:54

Yes, yes, it is. Right after this break, yeah. So uh so the The video was about um about not paying your bills on time actually prevents you from making more money or something like that.

SPEAKER_00 44:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 44:06

It's it's actually I literally paid Comcast on time like that.

SPEAKER_00 44:10

It's actually about loving paying your bills. Yeah, there you go. And instead of being like, oh, this electricity bill's so big, oh, this insurance bill. Um thank God, you know, thank God for it. Be have gratitude. Like I'm so grateful that my lights are on this month and I'm gonna write this check for the electricity, whatever it is, with gratitude. You know, I'm gonna write this rent check and say a prayer, thanking God for this roof over my head. Yeah. I mean, I I think that is what you're never gonna amass more until you learn to appreciate what you already have. And I find myself in that trap still. I'll be like, oh, I want more, I want more. And then I'm like, cha, this is actually like scarcity. Like appreciate what you have, focus on what you do have, and you tend to cultivate more of it.

SPEAKER_04 44:52

I like that. I love that. It's it comes with taking risks too a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 44:56

Oh, you got yeah, I'm a risk, I'm a I'm a risk taker, let me tell you. I'll I'll let you know when the when the memoir comes out. Taking a few risks in my life.

SPEAKER_04 45:06

A couple. Well, I mean, you have to.

SPEAKER_00 45:07

That's what really well that's a lot of entrepreneurs are like that. It's kind of a quality of entrepreneurs and business owners, salespeople, risk takers. This is true.

SPEAKER_04 45:16

This is true. Uh we're gonna segue into um in this whole LinkedIn game real quick, and we're gonna get a quick 30,000-foot perspective on YouTube.

SPEAKER_00 45:24

LinkedIn LinkedIn saved my life. Now I'm here chilling with Sebastian, talking about narcissism and on a Friday night.

SPEAKER_04 45:32

In the brand new studio.

SPEAKER_00 45:33

It's beautiful. I love it. This is this is super dope. I love it.

SPEAKER_04 45:37

Thank you. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 45:37

This is fake brick, hate to call it out, but it is. This is this is I love it. It looks real. It does look real. So I just fake it till you make it.

SPEAKER_04 45:44

I took a risk. That's terrible advice. I I no I I took a risk and uh an inked a deal for this studio, um, not knowing what 2020 would look like, other than I made a non-negotiable boundary that I set with myself. And I guess you could call it a goal. It's more of an intention to be able to help a hundred people start a podcast, right? And I'm like, if I do that, it's all gonna fall together. We're gonna have the office across the hall and down here. We're gonna have several studios because a hundred people starting a podcast um is a really big deal. And then my MC business, I'm gonna do 12 MC gigs this year. So between those two, um, I'm I'm I'm I'm on a value add front. We're helping people extract their story because a lot of what I do is not just help someone start a podcast. Starting a podcast is not that difficult. A lot of what I do is help people actually get behind the mic and actually get in front of the camera and be able to.

SPEAKER_00 46:33

You're a confidence coach.

SPEAKER_04 46:34

I I guess I could be. I've been called worse. So, so so a lot, you know, number one people's number two fear of die is is dying. Number one is public speaking. Public speaking.

SPEAKER_00 46:44

Not at all. So I mean, not for me at all. No, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:47

We're we're not we're cut from a different thread than most, but I would say 80% of people do not like cameras whatsoever. I don't want to be in front of a camera because it's a story and it's a real that they've created. I know, people I'm gonna look like shit. I'm gonna listen.

SPEAKER_00 46:59

I love the storyline.

SPEAKER_04 47:01

And Andy, Andy Warhol said one one a long time ago, um, don't if you if you're if you're a creator and you're an artist, don't worry about the beholder because their opinion is none of your concern. You're not gonna shape it, mold it, anything. You're just gonna just keep creating was the idea, right? And I I dated a girl about five years ago that was You've dated lots of girls, Sebastian.

SPEAKER_00 47:23

I've been single.

SPEAKER_04 47:25

I've been I've been single since gratitude training, very soon.

SPEAKER_00 47:28

Oh my gosh, it is out for business ladies if you are interested. We are here at Coral Gables top on vibes. This is one of those clips. He's got crooked teeth, y'all. He has got crooked teeth.

SPEAKER_04 47:42

Oh my gosh, amazing. Fantastic. Um uh what was I talking about?

SPEAKER_00 47:49

Uh how you uh the girl you were dating. Southern.

SPEAKER_04 47:51

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So she couldn't, she couldn't do public speaking. She's like, I I I I just have this fear of it. I'm like, okay, cool. Well, let's go back to the beginning of when we first felt pain pertaining to speaking in front of people. And she's like, Well, I was six years old, I was in a play and theater, and I came out and I forgot all my lines and I said, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, and everybody started laughing. And I go in then from I go, I'm sorry that happened. But that was when you were six years old. That was a long, long time ago. But you've decided to carry that with you this entire time and continue to revolve and and evolve the story and recreate it and enroll people into the story, believing it even more. And now it's ingrained in your psyche that you are not a public speaker. You cannot public speak, and public speaking is not something that you'll ever do. And I'm here to tell you today, it's complete bullshit because you have an opportunity in a couple of days to walk into a group of women, give a conversation about personal branding and about building brands and tying it to a mission and doing something significant with their life, and you're more concerned about what you think people are gonna think about it. I agree. So that makes you a taker.

SPEAKER_00 48:53

Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_04 48:54

Because everybody in that room is there to hear what you have to say. So for you to be, I'm not, I'm too f afraid of my uh getting out from I guess your own way, getting out of your own way. Um, and so anyway, she went on to go give that talk and crush it, and she's been giving talks ever since. That's amazing. And that really that that the it it it it the the the flip the switch flipped for me because Yeah, it's so true.

SPEAKER_00 49:16

Then and are you are you but it's so common though.

SPEAKER_04 49:19

Like I some people say, so what's this?

SPEAKER_00 49:21

I have clients who actually do public speaking and they're afraid to make videos for LinkedIn. Right. I'm like, what a video is like we could literally go delete this right now. This is not live, right? You're you should talking, you go live in front of a thousand people, can't mess up any lines, gotta go start to finish, no errors, and you're fine, but you're afraid to turn on a camera. I mean, it is it is wild.

SPEAKER_04 49:41

Well, I just say, listen, your your like the video's gonna look like I'm like, that's just not your decision.

SPEAKER_00 49:47

And once you help people, my videos look like shit in the beginning. Yeah, social media doesn't care. That's the thing, people social media doesn't care. I literally ran one of the biggest video licensing companies on Facebook for years, and I can tell you majority of the videos that went viral were shot on a cell phone. Social media doesn't care.

SPEAKER_04 50:05

This is not they actually want that, they want the peak behind the curtain.

SPEAKER_00 50:08

People aren't paying $25 to go get a cinematic experience at a movie theater. If I walked into a movie theater and paid good money for a ticket and it was shot on a cell phone, I would probably be upset. But this is not the case on social media. People don't expect that.

SPEAKER_04 50:21

True, very true. All right, let's wrap things up here by talking about. Yeah, what do you want to talk about?

SPEAKER_00 50:25

How can I be of service to you?

SPEAKER_04 50:27

LinkedIn, LinkedIn saved your life. We've we've talked about that. We we could we we we covered that. You stayed consistent with it, you built that community. Yeah, in in in you built a community around all that. Now you help founders and CEOs become LinkedIn rock stars.

SPEAKER_00 50:41

Yeah, exactly. Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_04 50:42

So let's pretend that I signed on with you today. Walk me through what to expect over the next 90 days.

SPEAKER_00 50:48

Yeah, absolutely. So it's essentially uh a boot camp. I call it a boot camp for a reason because what I do through the program is I teach business owners how to apply everything that I know and everything that's in my brain about digital marketing and video content for the social media news feeds, specifically LinkedIn. Um, so by the end of the six, it's a six-week program. And by the end, you are fully armed and ready to create video content consistently for your brand, know what to talk about, know how to do it, not be scared on camera and do it all without sucking up too much time or breaking the bank, which is what most people think. They think video content's gonna be too expensive, too time consuming. I I I I break down all of that. So it's a lot of like a six-week program. Yeah, it's six week online.

SPEAKER_04 51:34

What if people want to do business with you longer than six weeks?

SPEAKER_00 51:36

Uh yeah, there's a retainer model after that where they can like pay a monthly fee to like stay in the community and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_04 51:42

Okay, so it's just one big community.

SPEAKER_00 51:43

Yeah, yeah. And it's it's it's been super successful. Like, I really just believe there's still so few people in the world, Sebastian, who understand newsfeed video, newsfeed video specifically. And I'm very fortunate and honored that I have that experience on Facebook all those years and with my first company. Um because I had such a unique experience working for all those blogs. I mean, I I gotta talk about it more. I honestly haven't even talked about it a lot on LinkedIn, but yeah, I mean, I worked for like literally the biggest blogs on Facebook and they taught me everything I know. And uh I still just see a lot of companies, even with big marketing budgets, video teams, marketing teams, they struggle to really understand how to connect in the news feed and be able to teach that to a business owner so they can apply it for themselves, so they know how to outsource to an editor and it's all cheap and it's streamlined and it's quality. And they I teach a lot of like general marketing too and messaging, how to connect with your target market, how to know how to, you know, explain things so that you're touching on their pain points and not just being Sally like a lot of people on LinkedIn are. Um, but it's really beautiful to see people at the end come out like, oh wow, I can do this, and and way more confident, like you said, with with the videos.

SPEAKER_04 52:51

Why do you think LinkedIn uh decided, you know what, they were the first on the block, like 2004. I remember I've signed up.

SPEAKER_00 52:56

I think it was 2002.

SPEAKER_04 52:57

Isn't that crazy? Yeah, so I joined in like end of 2004, like MySpace Days. Yeah, I should be a Shea right now because I've been on LinkedIn so long.

SPEAKER_00 53:06

But I'm not.

SPEAKER_04 53:07

But you're in the studio, so maybe there's hope. Well, hey, my okay, okay. So I I I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll pause you for two seconds to say that I shared a teaser of her being on the show the other day, and uh she made one comment and broke the fucking internet. Yeah. So thank you. Five five thousand views on an image. That's first time. First timer here.

SPEAKER_00 53:27

Yeah, that's what happens when you get back. Yeah. Uh well, I'm honored to do it, and thank you for having me in your wonderful studio. It's been been a pleasure, but that's really uh another little hack on LinkedIn. Is if you can get bigger active influencers to engage on your posts.

SPEAKER_04 53:43

Oh, we've had a whole lineup. We had uh I had Joe on. I've known Joe for years. Joe's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 53:47

Yeah, how did you know Joe?

SPEAKER_04 53:48

Uh Joe and I met at a game.

SPEAKER_00 53:50

He was telling me about it.

SPEAKER_04 53:50

Yeah, we met at a gig uh in in um in Philly.

SPEAKER_00 53:53

Oh my god, he is he is like he is like literally the exact same in person as his video. You know what I mean? Because a lot of people you meet in person, you're like, oh wow, they actually suck. But he is like the exact same, like the energy, he's even better in person, honestly. He's really a great presenter and really good at building community and getting like I just I'm in awe of him.

SPEAKER_04 54:13

He's part of an awesome organization called the EO organization or entrepreneur organization. And so you have to be a you gotta be a CEO and you gotta be doing a million dollars a year and you're like mastermind, and it's like a fraternity.

SPEAKER_00 54:21

I think he's told me well. All right. So wrap me up, Sebastian.

SPEAKER_04 54:25

What do you think you and you and I could like a burrito?

SPEAKER_00 54:27

We're right, we'll be here till Sunday.

SPEAKER_04 54:28

I was about to say the conversation will wrap up like Monday, so you're definitely gonna have to come back to the show on ear. All right. Uh, I think our listeners have a good understanding that, you know, I I saw some negative feedback about LinkedIn this morning. I sent you the text.

SPEAKER_01 54:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 54:40

Um, and um, you know, my my my my best friend sent it to me, and he's a big fan of this individual, etc. And I said, I just I completely disagree. He knew I had you coming in tonight, so he wanted to like start that first. Like I got that text. Oh, he knew.

SPEAKER_00 54:52

Oh, so that was your friend. No, my friend. That was a text.

SPEAKER_04 54:55

No, no, my friend didn't write it. My friend sent me a screenshot of it. And it was just basically talking about LinkedIn being a land of narcissism.

SPEAKER_00 55:01

It can be.

SPEAKER_04 55:02

It totally can be.

SPEAKER_00 55:03

It can be, yeah. But that's all social media.

SPEAKER_04 55:05

Well, I think what's happening is that we're, you know, we're the more content that's being created that's effective and valuable, and the community true communities are being created, and out of those communities, like my vision for the podcast launch lab isn't just the hundred shows, it's the hundred shows that we take offline and then we do podcast launch lab live, and I'm the MC, and I bring in all the people that started a show to be the keynote speaker, and we've got sponsors like Libson and Spotify, you heard, and you know that the vision, and then having this huge community, just like you you're building with with people that want to be LinkedIn influencers and rock stars, for people to because I think that's extremely powerful. When other people can get into a private like Facebook group that they they invested to be part of, and there's like and then you start doing retreats and offline stuff and all kinds of that's really where these the the the magic happens. Yeah, taking it offline, right? And exactly, taking it off right. And you said that the other day when you did the plug for the LinkedIn local Miami video. Oh, yeah. I did every now and then we need to get out of the house and go to a LinkedIn local Miami. Exactly. Which I totally agree with. Exactly. Well, this has been a great conversation. We like almost went like Rogan style here on freaking hour and a half.

SPEAKER_00 56:10

Let's let's cut it at one, we'll we'll we'll we'll make the 120 mark, so this will be good. We're this this we're not too lengthy.

SPEAKER_04 56:17

This works out good. All right, so we'll round out, even though I have a million questions with my thanks to pod decks here that I could possibly ask you. Um I'm gonna we're we're we're gonna finish things up by um just hypothetically. Um we're gonna play a little hypothetical situation that you and I are um at the same event and we're in, I don't know, New York City. Okay you just got done give giving a keynote, and I was the MC, so we're all done. We're kind of doing our speaker thing. We went to the dinner thing, we're kind of off the hook now. Um, and uh we went to dinner, we've had some drinks, we're out with a group the whole nine, and we're at the hotel bar, and I spot across the hotel bar, I spot a karaoke bar. And I'm like, Shay, let's do this.

SPEAKER_00 56:57

You are trying to get me to sing right now. Is that what's no no no no no no no?

SPEAKER_04 57:02

I just want to know what song you hypothetically you and I would sing given the opportunity to duet together.

SPEAKER_00 57:08

Correct. What is a duet? Like I know like a couple of my go-to karaoke songs, but I'm trying to think of a good duet. Probably I mean, at that point Oh, I know. You know what I love? It's actually a karaoke song. It's the one that's like um what's it called?

SPEAKER_04 57:24

The one from uh Grease?

SPEAKER_00 57:27

Oh no, no. I I I love Greece. Islands in the stream, Dolly Parton, Kenny Roger. Oh, it's the uh it's the um Stay by Rihanna. And whoever's in that yeah, that one too.

SPEAKER_04 57:39

Or I could, I mean, at that point in time, I may have enough tequila in me. I'd want to. Oh, that's a good one. That is, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:46

Cold head hat head.

SPEAKER_04 57:47

Have you heard Love Me Anyway from Chris Stapleton in Pink?

SPEAKER_00 57:50

No, but I love Pink. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_04 57:53

I'm like at that point, I could totally like I'd have maybe have some tequila in me. I could bust out my best.

SPEAKER_00 57:58

Little tequila. Chris Stapleton. Little tequila, make you do anything.

SPEAKER_04 58:01

Oh my goodness. What's the country song?

SPEAKER_00 58:04

Uh I don't like country.

SPEAKER_04 58:06

You and tequila.

SPEAKER_00 58:07

There's one that country song I love. This one. It's the one um Head Over Boots by you know what I'm saying. I don't know why. That is my freaking jam, dude.

SPEAKER_04 58:16

The new one?

SPEAKER_00 58:16

No, head over boots. It's called Head Over Boots.

SPEAKER_04 58:19

Is it John Party?

SPEAKER_00 58:20

Sweep you off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 58:23

My daughter just texted the other day. She goes, This is catchy. The best song. I just saw him in Nashville. He's great. John Party's fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 58:29

Oh, Nashville's a great time.

SPEAKER_04 58:30

Yeah, his career is exploding. Uh, well, you go on tour with Dirk Spent with the club.

SPEAKER_00 58:34

All right, let's go. We got 50 seconds, Sebastian.

SPEAKER_04 58:36

What can we? What was the song?

SPEAKER_00 58:38

I stick it. Ariana. Yeah, I love that song. There we go. We get Jazzy with it. All right.

SPEAKER_04 58:42

All right. So I made it happen. I was like, this guy I'm gonna meet Shay.

SPEAKER_00 58:46

Oh, you're a manifester. That's that's how you do it. Well, we have you happen you happen to live in my city, which helps.

SPEAKER_04 58:51

That does help. I do live close by. I message you.

SPEAKER_00 58:54

I am a hopping to skip, if you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_04 58:56

This is true. This is true. Well, we met through a mutual offline friend, like, didn't have anything to do really with LinkedIn.

SPEAKER_00 59:00

Well, now he does because he's working for me. Dominic works for me.

SPEAKER_04 59:04

There we go.

SPEAKER_00 59:05

Putting these men to work.

SPEAKER_04 59:07

Well, Shay, this is uh it's been a great conversation. We're definitely gonna have to have more conversations. We clearly have plenty to talk about. You're a freaking rock star.

SPEAKER_00 59:15

I love meeting you, and I'm so excited for your show, and it's been an honor to be your first guest.

SPEAKER_04 59:20

Of the Seb Rush show here at the brand new podcast launch lab studio, we're making history here. We're gonna look back one day and go, remember when you opened that little studio in the gables and you were like, I'm gonna help a hundred people, and now you're like 5,000 deep in there?

SPEAKER_00 59:32

Making memories. That's right. Awesome.

SPEAKER_04 59:34

Thanks again, Shay.

SPEAKER_00 59:35

Yeah, thank you for having me, Sebastian.

SPEAKER_04 59:38

Hey, friends, Sebastian again. Thanks so much for tuning into this episode of the Seb Rush Show. I sure do appreciate it. My goodness, Shay Robottom, absolute total rock star, and it was my pleasure to have her in the studio as the first studio guest for the Seb Rush show. We're doing it studio style these days. Make sure you follow Shay and connect with her. All of her information will be in the show notes. I'm Sebastian Rusk, signing off from the brand new podcast, Launch Lab Studio, here in beautiful Miami. We'll talk to you next time.